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"Great, freckled faggot. You get to come over today." And then he wasgone, Ms. Shannon approaching out of nowhere to push me out of herclassroom with a warning about being late to my next class. For the rest ofthe day I moped, too distracted to really pay attention to lectures as Ipictured the coming insanity.Near the end of the day I escaped to the bathroom, empting my bladder andsplashing water on my face. My cropped hair fell, I thought, nicely over myeyes. It was straight enough, only curving at the edges, and to my bestefforts it resembled a few of the singers I adored from bands that most ofmy classmates didn't care about. I caught myself looking into myreflection, eyes scanning my pale face as I willed myself to keep onbreathing."I know you're just so fucking ugly, huh Vincent?" I turned in surprise,unaware that someone had entered the bathroom. "But you only have to lookat it when you're in front of a mirror. We have to suffer a hell of a lotmore than that." It was Chris, a. Yet, for so very long, I have fantasized about sucking another man's cock. The main appeal, I believe, stems from my inherent submissiveness. It is arousing to imagine myself on my knees in front of an alpha male, one whose genitals are larger than mine, and using my mouth, lips, and tongue to give him sexual pleasure. It seems to be motivated by a sense of reverence, of recognition and acknowledgement that his cock is larger than mine, more worthy to inseminate a female than mine, and that it is more worthy to be "worshipped" orally. In my own case, I believe that years of viewing porn and observing women sexually worship a cock has helped induce my desire to do so as well.Consumption of semen. I have regularly tasted and consumed my own ejaculate since I was an early teen. It is indeed an acquired taste, and post-ejaculatory feelings of disgust often prevent me from licking it up and swallowing it the way I fantasize about doing it while actively masturbating. Yet I often manage to.
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